Make Me Feel
by ThatCalexShipper
Summary: Alex just wants to feel something again, and Casey just wants to help her feel. Set during "Ghost", emotional Calex with a hint of smut.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: this was meant to be a soft, yet smutty fic but I got carried away and now I've made myself emotional, so, you guys can suffer with me.**

Casey knocked hesitantly on Alex's hotel room door, her feet gently scuffing at the carpet. She didn't know why she agreed to this, her attraction to the ex-ADA was hard enough to quell in her office, so a hotel room? She's pretty sure she's screwed.

"Hi." Alex opens the door, her eyes nervously darting around the hallway before landing on the redhead that was timidly biting her lip. Alex smiled softly, pulling the door open enough for Casey to slip inside, her fingers just brushing against Alex's hip. Their eyes met, Casey's cheeks tinting a bit as she subconsciously bit her lip again, "You're gonna make it bleed if you keep doing that."

"Huh? Doing what?"

"Your lip. If you keep biting it, it'll eventually split." Alex didn't know why she felt the need to make conversation, a weird tension always seemed to hang between her and Casey, one that Alex refused to acknowledge as sexual.

"Oh. Yeah, it's a nervous habit." Casey replied, an awkward smile on her face. Normally she was so much more put together, so much more confident, but there was just _something_ about Alex that made her feel so intimidated, yet attracted.

"I make you nervous?" Alex softly smiled, gesturing to the couch before sitting down, watching as Casey followed suit, taking the opposite side. The way her tongue darted out to touch her top lip as she pulled out her file made Alex nearly gasp, a familiar feeling sinking straight between her legs, one she hadn't felt in a long time.

"You're a hell of a prosecutor, Alex. I've got big shoes to fill here."

"Don't do that. Just be you. I'm clearly not perfect, I got shot."

"Yeah well, I'm gonna do everything I can put the bastard that shot you away." Casey gave Alex a more genuine smile, this one full of sympathy and something Alex thought might've been admiration.

Alex's mind was swirling, her memories, her desires, and her regrets all circling around in her head. She hasn't had a real relationship, of any kind, since she went into WPP. Sure, she had a boyfriend, a meaningless relationship that she had let happen because she was lonely, but it never went further than a few kisses. Being back, being _Alex Cabot_ again was overwhelming, everything has changed yet it's still the same. She's missed herself, her real self, and what's worse, she's finding it hard to remember what her real self is. She wants to feel like herself again, truly like herself, to be in control once more. She needed it, craved it, and Casey-god, that beautiful woman-she was right here, and Alex finally wrapped her head around the fact that she _wanted_ her. Badly.

"Alex? Are you okay?" Casey's low, soft voice pulled Alex out of her reverie, the blonde glancing over at Casey, who had moved closer in concern, her eyes piercing Alex's soul. Alex turned towards the redhead, causing Casey to gasp at the close proximity.

"Casey...kiss me."

"W-What?"

"You heard me. Please." Alex nearly whimpered, desperate to remember the Alex Cabot she knew before.

"Alex, I don't-what's happening?" Casey was uncertain, her eyes darting between Alex's eyes and her lips, her heartbeat speeding up.

"I need you. I need to feel again, Casey. I need to feel like me. Like Alex. Not like Emily. Just for tonight, please, I'm begging you, allow me to be me again. Let me fuck you." Alex's words caused Casey to softly gasp, licking her lips again as she reached up to clasp her hands behind Alex's neck, leaning in so their foreheads touched.

"Use me, Alex. I'll let you." The raspy words were all Alex needed to lift her hands up to grip Casey's face, her thumbs brushing gently against pale skin as she slowly leaned in. As her lips touched Casey's, Alex felt like she was in heaven, the redhead's perfect mouth breathing life back into her. She moved her mouth against Casey's, feeling her reciprocate, her tongue flicking across Alex's lower lip before Alex parted them to deepen the kiss. Finally, needing air, the two of them parted, the sensation of their lips separating making Alex breathlessly moan. She could've cried, if she wasn't so preoccupied with getting Casey into her bed. They stumbled onto the hotel sheets, Alex pushing Casey down, kneeling on the raised ottoman that was in front of the bed. She reached out for Casey's top, hesitating slightly.

"Can I?" Alex asked tentatively, relieved when Casey grabbed her collar and gently pulled her in for another kiss.

"I'm yours tonight, Alex. All yours." Alex let her eyes flutter shut, feeling herself tear up at the tender sound of Casey's voice.

"You're okay with letting me fuck you?" Alex wanted to hear the words, to know that this was really what Casey wanted.

"Yes. Everything I have is yours tonight." Alex's throat clenched at Casey's soft words, feeling soft hands stroke her cheeks. She leaned up and captured Casey's lips again, her fingers finally scrambling to unbutton her lover's top, and slipping her skirt down her legs. Pulling the button down off of Casey's body, Alex let out a soft groan of appreciation at Casey's body, her breasts covered by a sheer black bra, one that matched the fabric covering her most intimate part. Casey reached behind her and pulled off her bra, exposing soft milky skin that contrasted with her hard nipples, making Alex moan. She hovered over Casey, using her right hand to firmly grip Casey's jaw, pushing her back against the sheets. Bending down and placing several kisses to Casey's collarbone, Alex let her fingers trail downwards to play with the waistband of Casey's underwear. As she latched onto her lover's neck, sucking hard at the skin there, Alex helped Casey slip out of the material, leaving her bare.

"Fuck. You're beautiful." Alex whispered, her eyes drinking in the sight of her naked lover hungrily. She reached out to touch Casey's chest, her fingers brushing against her nipples.

"Please, Alex let me see you." Casey sighed in pleasure at the sensation of Alex's hands on her breasts, giving a moan as Alex pinched a sensitive nipple between her fingers. Alex pulled off the sweater and pants she had been wearing, her arousal building so much that she needed to feel air on her skin. Stripping out of the lacy lingerie set, which made Casey moan, she found herself completely naked. Casey muttered something about heaven under her breath, only to have her words stolen from her lips by Alex's own, the blonde lowering her body over Casey's, heated skin meeting the other's. Casey let out a whimper, her eyes fluttering open to meet Alex's, who leaned down again to mark Casey's neck.

"Are you ready?"

"Yes, please, Alex. Fuck me." Hearing Casey begging her, hearing her normally low voice sink even further was too much for Alex, and she immediately reached between Casey's legs, her fingers finding her clit and playing with it. Her fingers lowered to Casey's entrance, teasing her, making her arch her back in desperation.

"A-Alex! Please!" Casey's eyes were shut, her lip between her teeth once more, although this was from arousal, not nerves. Alex's plan had been to take control, to get Casey begging and squirming beneath her, but her own arousal made her abandon that idea, desperate to see Casey come. She slid two

fingers inside the redhead, Casey giving a slow moan of appreciation as she threw her head back.

"You like that? Yeah?" Alex whispered against Casey's neck, her body rocking against her lover's as she thrusted her fingers deeper inside her. Casey whimpered, her hands clawing desperately at Alex's back, her eyes closed. Alex rolled her hips against Casey's, both of them releasing a moan. Their bodies ground against each other, heat creeping up between them. Alex's fingers curled inside of Casey, and she lifted her mouth from where it was sucking on her lover's neck. She watched with desperate eyes as Casey's release jerked through her body, the redhead letting out a loud moan, her body lifting up to press into Alex's before falling to the bed in relief.

"Alex!" Casey shrieked, as Alex didn't remove her fingers, instead bringing her thumb up to rub circles on Casey's clit, making the redhead jump and practically scream.

"Mine." Alex hissed, moving her fingers again, rough and fast this time, Casey turning into a whimpering, screaming mess, her hands tangled in Alex's hair. As Alex ground down, rolling her hips into Casey's as she thrust hard into her, Casey let out a loud scream of Alex's name, her body shaking hard as her wetness coated Alex's hand.

"A-Alex! Stop! Please! I c-can't take anymore!" Casey was panting, her body covered in sweat, her eyes screwed shut as she tried to regain control of her limbs. Alex pulled out of her quickly, smirking at the small whimper Casey gave at the loss of contact. Alex felt so alive, so in control, but she wanted Casey to feel cared for, to know that this wasn't just her needing sex, that this was for both of them. Alex slid off of Casey's body, sitting on her knees beside her, her hands sliding up to cup Casey's face. She leaned down, pressing soft kisses to her jaw, then her cheeks, her temples, and the tip of her nose. Casey sighed contentedly, her body relaxing further into the sheets and Alex really did start to cry then, because she hasn't seen something quite this beautiful, this human in a long time. She stared down at Casey, the redhead's eyes were still shut, and a few tears slipped down her cheeks as she lovingly caressed Casey's cheeks. She leaned down and kissed Casey's lips, moving gently against her mouth, Casey's eyes fluttering open as she tasted salt between the kiss.

"Alex? Are you okay?" She sat up, concerned, causing Alex to let out a noise somewhere between a sob and a laugh, as the blonde simply reached up and tucked a strand of Casey's hair behind her ear.

"I'm better than okay, Casey. I just-this-I feel so me, and I just, I haven't felt like that for a while." Alex was crying softly now, haunted memories of WPP drifting through her head, Casey seeming to sense what had happened, as she simply tugged Alex's naked form against her own, leaning back against the headboard with her lover in her arms. She ran her fingers through blonde strands, whispering comforts in Alex's ear.

"Don't fight it, just cry, Alex, I'm here, I'm here beautiful, I'm not going anywhere." Casey's soft words were all Alex needed to let herself go, her body shaking with sobs as she let her mind reflect on everything that had happened, from her getting shot, to right now, crying in her successor's arms after taking her in her hotel room. After a while, her crying slowed, coming down to an occasional hiccup, and she buried her face into Casey's neck, slightly embarrassed.

"I'm sorry-"

"Don't. You needed that. Crying isn't weak, Alex. It just means you've been strong for too long." Alex raised her head at Casey's genuine words, hearing the emotion and love in the redhead's voice. She leaned in for another kiss, their lips meeting once more in a dance of salty tears and soft skin. Casey lifted the covers, sliding under and gesturing for Alex to do the same.

"I don't wanna leave you. Not now, not soon, maybe not ever." Alex said, her voice barely audible, as she slid beneath the sheets, her body flush against Casey's again. Casey froze at her words, not because they scared her, but because the thought of the blonde leaving sent a stabbing pain through her heart.

"Alex...don't...not now. We have tonight, we have until the trial's over, and maybe you won't have to go."

"God, it was easier leaving when I didn't have someone to leave..." Alex whispered, both of them crying now, Casey holding onto Alex tightly as if afraid she'd fade away.

"I'll wait for you. If you leave, I'll be alone until y-"

"No. Don't say that. You can't promise that, because I c-could have to be away for years." Alex choked out, the lump in her throat growing as she stared into Casey's emerald eyes.

"Yes I can. I don't want anyone but you, Alex, I've never met anyone like you. I'll wait for you. As long as it takes." Casey rested her forehead against Alex's, their breaths hot against each other, as tears slipped onto the bedsheets.

"God, Casey, you're crazy."

"No, I just know that I could fall in love with you, hell maybe I already have."

"Me too _._ " Alex whispered, capturing Casey's lips one more time, grabbing her face gently, before pulling away, turning the light off and pulling Casey into her side.

" _You might have someone to leave now, but you also have someone to come home to."_ Casey's words were the last things Alex heard as her eyes slowly fell shut, sleep taking over.

—

It was after the trial, and Casey was beyond ecstatic, she had won the case, which meant maybe, just maybe, Alex wouldn't have to go back to WPP. They were planning a surprise party, the squad and her meeting in Casey's office as they waiting for the ex-ADA.

"Is it? Is that her?" Olivia whispered, seeing a shadowy figure move down the hall. It stopped in front of Casey's office, the door swinging open, the squad all lifting their drinks until they saw the face of the figure. Until Casey's heart shattered. She stared at the Marshall in terror, not wanting to know what he had to say.

"Where's Alex?" Olivia asked, confused, and sounding a little sad.

"Marshalls are moving her and Antonio to new identities...she asked me to say goodbye." Casey's head spun as he spoke, her hands starting to shake, and she felt her heart constricting in her chest, "Uh, Ms. Novak?"

"Y-Yes?" Casey managed to speak, her voice raspy, clearly on the verge of tears, making the squad stare at her, none of them knowing about her relationship with Alex.

"Ms. Cabot asked me to give this to you...she wanted to come say goodbye in person but, it's against regulations. Sorry." The Marshall handed Casey an envelope, one that was addressed in Alex's flowery handwriting to Casey. Casey let out a soft sob, taking the letter and fleeing from the room, leaving the squad to confusedly talk about her.

Once Casey was safely in her car, she picked up the envelope with shaky hands, tears streaming down her face. Opening up the letter, she began openly sobbing as she read the words, Alex's voice echoing in her head.

 _My Casey,_

 _I'm sorry. I'm so sorry that I couldn't give you this in person, give you the goodbye you truly deserve. I can only hope I can try to get it as close to right in this letter. This last week is the happiest I've been in years. You've given me something special, Casey, a reason to want to come home. So I'm giving you something in return. My heart. It's yours. I promise you, it's yours, and it will always be yours, even when I'm not next to you. I'm not going to demand you stop seeing people, because this is my mess and I've dragged you into it, but part of me can't help but be selfish, and ask you to wait? If you can? No matter what, I'll understand. It's crazy, and it's fast and it's beyond anything I've ever done before but, I love you, Casey Novak, and I will fight with all my power to come home to you. I'm going to miss you so much, Casey. So much._

 _Love, Always,_

 _Alex_

Casey was crying so hard by the end of the letter that she had to take deep breaths just to insure that she could breathe at all. Her whole body was shaking, and she wasn't even bothering to conceal the almost screams of emotional pain that were coming out of her mouth.

She cried for what felt like hours, finally regaining control, holding the envelope tight as she whispered, " _I told you I'd wait forever for you, Alex. I love you too."_


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: I'm sorry. Really. This isn't the end though...I think.**

It's been two years since Alex left. Two years since Casey Novak's whole world was shattered. Since that awful day, Casey has dedicated every second she could to finding Zapata and Velez, and bringing them down. Hours upon hours of research, database searches, and intel gathering had all began to pay off. Casey knew she was playing with fire, knew that doing this was dangerous, hell, even crazy, but all she wanted was to have Alex back in her arms. She just never knew it would be like this.

She had found the cartel's location, using her resources at the FBI and CIA. Knowing that they were in New York, and that Narcotics was making a move on them, she was practically attached to her phone, hoping that she'd get the call saying that they'd been apprehended. She was walking out of the office, headed down the street to the little coffee shop that Alex had mentioned loving, an off comment after sex that most people wouldn't remember, but Casey had gone to that shop almost every day since Alex left. That's when she got the call.

"ADA Novak?"

"Yes? That's me." Casey stopped walking, her eyes wide with anticipation as she leaned against a nearby wall.

"We got Zapata. He's dead. Opened fire on us and we took him down. Velez got away, however, but we think we know where he's headed. It's almost over." Casey almost didn't believe what the detective was saying. _It's almost over._ That meant Alex, god, Alex could come home. Casey started almost robotically going over the details of the case, the trial dates and everything, and she didn't notice the shadowy figure running up to her, raising his arm...

 **BANG.**

One shot. That's all he fired. That's all Casey felt as the bullet tore into her side. She slowly crumpled to the ground, lying still as she felt the blood pour out of her. Her phone clattered to the ground, landing next to her head as she turned and choked out one word before her entire world faded away.

" _Alex."_

—

Alex was sitting behind her desk, internally cursing everyone and everything right now for sticking her out in the middle of Ohio. As she leaned back with a sigh, she glanced over to the tiny picture frame on her desk, the one that proudly displayed Casey, a photo of her making breakfast that Alex had snapped just as she began to laugh. Alex loved that photo, everyone she worked with could tell. When people asked 'Katherine' who the woman in the photo was, she simply replied with "my wife". Alex knew that Casey was the one, it sounded absolutely crazy and was ridiculous if you consider how short their time together was, but Alex knew. She knew she loved her. Which is why, when her phone rang and she saw that it was the Marshalls calling, a terrible feeling sunk in her stomach.

"What's this about?" Alex nervously said, staring at the Marshall in front of her, after the call she had rushed home at their request, packing her bags as they told her she was leaving, "Where am I going this time? What's happened?"

"Home, Ms. Cabot. You're going home. ADA Novak tracked down Zapata and Velez, Narcotics took Zapata down, and SVU took down Velez two days ago."

"N-Novak? Casey? W-Wait? I can go home?" Alex stared in disbelief, not quite absorbing the information she was being told, "Wait a second...why did SVU take down Velez? It shouldn't have been their case unless...no. NO. What happened?! Who was it?!"

"...ADA Novak. She was shot by Velez."

"Oh god. No. No, no, no, NO! Is she alive?! Tell me! Is she alive?!" Alex was gasping for breath, her mind spinning with all this new information, but all it seemed to settle on was _Casey,_ and she gripped onto the Marshall's jacket, tears streaming down her face.

"I-I didn't know she meant so much to you, I'm sorry. Bullet lodged in her side, she lost a lot of blood, last I heard, she was still in surgery, very touch and go. Again, I'm sorry."

"Please no...no! No this isn't happening! Casey...she can't die...she can't..." Alex was begging now, abandoning all thought of pride or dignity that she usually carried, all she could think about was that _Casey might die,_ and it was all her fault. All her fucking fault.

She barely remembers getting into the car, let alone onto the plane. All she saw was red hair and green eyes, all she heard was Casey's low voice saying her name. She felt her head pounding from all the crying she was doing, but the tears never slowed, only getting harder as the plane landed, afraid of what she might find. The drive to the hospital was short, Alex insisting on going there, not bothering to go to her hotel, all she needed was to see Casey, to know if she's okay.

"Alex..." The blonde glanced up from her chair in the waiting room, jumping up when she saw Olivia.

"Liv! Do you know anything? Is she okay? What the hell happened?" Alex was rapidly firing questions, only stopping when Olivia pulled her in for a hug.

"She's alive. That's all we know. She's alive, but it's bad. I arrived at the scene just as they were loading her into the ambulance, Lex, it-it was bad. There was a lot of blood. Our best guess as to what happened was that Velez got word that Casey was investigating him, and he tried to take her out. Same as you, Alex, so don't you dare try and blame yourself. It isn't your fault."

"Yes it is, Liv. I fell in love with her and now she's paying the steepest of prices. She wouldn't be looking into this-"

"She wouldn't be looking into this if she didn't love you, Alex. No matter what, she loves you, and she did this, it was HER choice, not yours. This isn't your fault. It's Zapata's and Velez's. No one else." Olivia had her hands on Alex's shoulders now, trying to convey the message to her friend the best she could. Alex just shook her head, no words could assuage the guilt that she felt right now.

Hours passed by, with no word from the doctors, and Alex was practically jumping on their throats for just a word of reassurance. The small hospital waiting room had filled up by now, the SVU squad along with half the DA's office had arrived, Alex growing more uncomfortable with the reunions as they went on, feeling like she shouldn't be given this happiness when her Casey was lying on a hospital table. She was about to get up to ask the nurse if there was any news for probably the twentieth time, when the doctor came into the room, blood on his scrubs. Alex froze, staring at the red color, her hands shaking.

"Family of Casey Novak?"

"T-That's me. I'm her-her girlfriend." Alex choked out, the title falling from her lips easily. The people in the room let out noises of surprise, whispering amongst themselves before Alex turned and fixed them with a red-eyed glare.

"Oh you must be Alex...all Ms. Novak said this whole time was your name." Alex let out a sob at the doctor's words, not wanting to imagine Casey crying out for her.

"Is she-please tell me she's alive?"

"The good news is, yes, she's alive, the bad news is, we don't know if she'll make it through the night-" The doctor trailed off as Alex started sobbing, her hand covering her mouth, "Her body is very weak, it's just up to her whether or not she's gonna keep fighting. If she makes it through the night, there's a significant chance she'll make a full recovery."

"C-Can I see her?" Alex whispered, her vision blurry with tears, feeling as if her heart was being ripped from her chest. _Casey can't die, she can't_ , Alex kept saying in her head, she needed her.

"Yes, but just you for now, I'm sorry." The doctor addressed the crowd of people, before turning and addressing Alex once more, "Come on, we have to give you a gown and sterilize you to prevent infection."

Alex just nodded, her mind and body numb. She barely remembers saying goodbye to Olivia and the rest of the squad, only hearing her footsteps as she reached Casey's door. Her protective gown wrinkled as she reached for the door, pulling it open and slipping inside.

" _Oh, Casey..."_ Alex whispered, looking over her love, her heart clenching as she saw all the tubes and wires that were hooked up to her body. She saw the breathing tube, just another reminder of how weak Casey was, nothing like the strong, kind woman Alex knew. She sat down in a chair by the bed, a protective barrier preventing her from touching the redhead, but she sat by her, resting her head on the little desk as she watched Casey's chest rise and fall slowly. It reassured her, just a little, that she could see her breathing. Alex softly hummed, a French love song leaving her lips, in a hope that Casey could hear her. Hours went by with Alex just humming and talking to Casey, telling her embarrassing stories from the last two years.

"Everyone thinks that you're 'Katherine's' wife. I didn't know how else to explain you. Half of them couldn't believe that I managed to get you. I told them that I was the luckiest woman on earth. It's true, Casey. It's very true. I love you. I miss you, I miss your stupid jokes, I miss your smile, I miss everything. Please wake up..pl-" Alex's speech was interrupted by the monitors starting to beep like crazy, Casey's body shaking in the bed. Alex screamed, jumping out of her chair and running over to yell for a doctor. She was gasping for breath as she begged them to save her, being pushed out of the room as doctors and nurses rushed in, medical lingo that Alex didn't understand flying through the air.

 _She's coding!_

 _Get me a crash cart!_

 _Come on, we're losing her!_

Alex stared through the window, numb, as they tried to save Casey, and she gripped her hair between her fingers, trying to understand what just happened. Until...

 _ **Beeeeeeeeeeep.**_

The flatline rang out through the room, and Alex's heart stopped.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: There we go! Let's see how else I can mess with all of your feelings next chapter, shall we?**

"No! NO! CASEY!" Alex had ran into the room the moment she heard that awful sound, grasping Casey's limp hand between her own, practically choking on her tears.

"Ms. Cabot I-"

"Don't. No. Please Casey, please just breathe. BREATHE, DAMNIT! I need you. I need you here so please just fucking breathe." Alex was begging, pleading with Casey's lifeless body, her other hand grasping Casey's face, "Please...I love you..."

Alex felt the tears running down her cheeks, falling into Casey's hair as she bent over her body. She was sobbing hard, her mind spinning when suddenly the monitors sprung to life.

 _ **Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.**_

They were spread out, weak, almost not there at all, but they were. The beeping. It was there. Alex raised her head, gasping, a huge grin spreading across her face as she heard Casey's shuddering breath. The rattling and choking might have scared her any other time, but right now, it was the most beautiful sound Alex has ever heard.

" _Casey..."_ Alex was moved aside by the doctors, who all looked very surprised, as they reattached the IV's and the breathing tube. Alex knew her Casey though, and her Casey was never one for simplicity.

"T-This is a miracle. She seems to be improving by the minute..."

"That's my girl." Alex breathed, her heart managing to slow down as she felt the relief course through her. She sat back down shakily, her hand reaching up to caress Casey's forehead, feeling the cool touch. Watching Casey's chest rise and fall again, albeit raggedly, filled her with calm as she pressed a kiss to her skin. She let a few quiet tears slip down her face, leaning over and lying her head next to Casey's shoulder. She looked up and just lay that way, watching the love of her life.

—

"Alex? How's she doing?" Olivia tentatively poked her head around the hospital room door, Casey having been moved from the protective ward to a regular room, no longer at risk of infection. Alex jolted up, her hand protectively flying up over Casey's body.

"W-What? Huh? Oh, Liv. Sorry I just, I haven't gotten much sleep."

"I asked how she's doing, but maybe I should be asking how you're doing as well..."

"I'm not the one who got shot. I'm fine. And Casey...she's, she's doing okay. H-Her body is getting stronger every minute. They think she's gonna be okay but just...seeing her like this...in a coma _,_ a fucking _coma_ , Liv. I just want her smile back." Alex was crying quietly, Olivia grimacing sympathetically as she patted her shoulder.

"You really fell for her huh?"

"She's the one, Liv. Us, that's what true love feels like." Alex glanced over at Casey's unconscious form, before turning away from Olivia and going back to her place at Casey's side.

—

Several days later and there had been no change. The doctors were saying it wasn't looking too good, Alex insisting that Casey was fighting, that she would get better.

" _Ms. Cabot, I know this is hard, but we have to consider the possibility that keeping Ms. Novak alive is doing her more harm than good..."_

" _No! No, I won't let you kill her! She's alive, she's breathing, and she WILL wake up. I know it."_

Alex didn't have the power to make the executive decision, however, and Casey's father had decided that the doctors would pull the plug on Casey if she didn't wake up by the end of the day. The bastard hadn't even bothered to show up in person, only hearing what the doctors had to say and telling them to "get rid of her if she doesn't wake up". Alex was furious when she found out, muttering threats under her breath as she realized how broken Casey's home had been. She had begged the doctors for more time, practically gotten down on her knees, but she wasn't Casey's emergency contact, and they wouldn't budge.

"Please Casey...please you have to wake up. You have to! T-They're gonna turn the machines off in less than an hour, please Casey! I can't live without you, god, please just fucking wake up!" Alex was sitting on her knees in the chair, her head laying gently on Casey's chest, her fingers running through Casey's red hair as she begged her to wake up, "I love you. Please, don't leave me."

"Ms. Cabot?" Alex sat up at the sound of the doctor's voice, her eyes filling with tears as she saw the sad look on their faces.

"No! No I still have time, I have another ten minutes! Please!"

"I'm so sorry. We have to do this. It's our job."

"Your job is to KILL the love of my life?! What makes her so unimportant that you feel you need to get rid of her?!" Alex was screaming now, her finger pointed accusingly at that the doctor, tears blurring her vision as her head spun.

"Ms. Cabot, that's not what's happening here. Casey is in pain, she's suffering, you want what's best for her right?"

"What's best for her, is that you try and HELP her. Because she's going to wake up I-" Alex turned abruptly, hearing a slight shift from behind her. She gasped, watching with shocked eyes as Casey began to stir, her eyes slowly fluttering open, beautiful green meeting red rimmed blue. Alex started crying again, running to Casey's side, grabbing her hand between her own as the doctors conducted their tests, slowly removing the breathing tube, Casey weakly gasping for air as it came out of her throat. They replaced the tube with a simple nose cannula, Casey relaxing and settling back against the pillows. She squeezed Alex's hand gently, looking up blearily at the blonde.

" _Alex."_


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: god I'm so sorry for the long wait, I planned to update two days ago and then I got sick, so please forgive me, and enjoy this fluffy chapter. A longer one will be out tomorrow or the day after. 3**

"I'm here, Casey, I'm here and I'm not leaving you. Never again. I'm so sorry, so so sorry." Alex sat down on the edge of the bed, her hand still gripping Casey's, the slight squeezing she was getting in return making her smile.

"N-Not your f-fault." Casey choked out, her mouth grimacing in slight pain. Alex shushed her gently, placing a kiss on top of her head.

"Don't talk sweetheart. You've been out for quite some time, you need to heal." Ignoring Casey's previous words, Alex lovingly brushed a few hairs out of Casey's eyes, leaning down and resting her forehead against Casey's.

"A-Alex."

"I just said don't talk, Ca-"

"I love you." Casey reached up one of her hands shakily, managing to rest it against Alex's cheek, "I-I've waited t-two years to say that. I love you."

" _I love you too."_ Alex breathed out, their foreheads still touching as Alex let a tear slip down her cheek. She ran her fingers across Casey's cheeks, trying to convince herself that this is real, Casey's really here, alive, safe. Casey leaned into her touch, before leaning up and connecting their lips. Alex gasped, the feeling of kissing Casey again was completely overwhelming, because it had been _so long_ yet Alex remembered everything. The strawberry taste of Casey's lips, the small creases in her mouth, the way she smiled into the kiss. Cupping Casey's face between her hands, she kissed her hard, trying to put two years of love and loss into that one kiss.

"Y-You came b-back." Casey whispered as they pulled apart, her hands shakily brushing against Alex's cheeks.

"Of course I did. I had you. I needed to come back."

"I m-missed you." Casey smiled, shifting slightly before immediately gasping in pain, her hands fumbling at her side. Alex winced, her hands brushing against Casey's forehead in an effort to soothe the pain.

"I missed you too. Every day. And I'm so sorry that you're hurting, sweetheart, it hurts me just to see you in pain."

"B-Brought you home. W-was worth it." Casey weakly smiled, the obvious pain being forced down, the redhead determined not to complain. She gestured for Alex to come closer, leaning up and kissing her once again, this time it was longer, sweet, gentle. Alex sighed breathlessly when they pulled apart, a lovesick smile spreading across her face as she gazed down at Casey. The redhead looked tired, but content.

"Rest, my love. The sooner you get better, the sooner we can go home."

"Home. With you? I like the sound of that."

"Ms. Cabot?" Alex shot up from where she was sleeping in the chair next to Casey's bed, her body instinctively shielding Casey's.

"Y-Yes doctor?"

"Ms. Novak is doing remarkably well, her body seems to be recovering at a much faster pace then we imagined. We believe she'll be able to go home tomorrow, of course she'll need someone with her at all times, and she'll be on heavy medications for a few months, with extensive physical therapy."

"Oh thank god. That's my girl." Alex glanced at Casey, a proud smile spreading across her face, "I'll be with her. Always."


End file.
